Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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