dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
