I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
