physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize