it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
