My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize