It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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