...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize