Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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