Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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