I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
