In America we eat man semen.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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