90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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