If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i dont even know how to be here
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
