I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
