ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
