love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
