i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
