On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
