I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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