I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Randomize
