People with herpes should wear stickers.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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