i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
