This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize