Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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