So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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