okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
