me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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