just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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