You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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