The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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