so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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