I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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