Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize