He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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