What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
