People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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