i don't like sucking hair
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize