I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
