Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
