Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
