if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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