you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
