So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
