is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
