Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
