Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
