If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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