I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
