Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
