If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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