i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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