You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
