literally had 100 drinks last night.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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