Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
